We Must Be Relentless and Unapologetic in Pursuing Our Kids & Grandkids!

Not long ago a friend said, "My kids and grandkids are so busy. I want to spend time with them but I don't want to be a bother. Besides, they don't want to hang out with an old fuddy duddy like me." Most of you, like Jean and I, have kids that are busy and we certainly don't want to be a bother. I can't do anything about the "old" part, but I refuse to be a "fuddy duddy" 😎.

As parents and grandparents we want to do all we can, to help our kids to be all they can, in order to live their lives to the utmost. We all want to help them avoid the big mistakes that can cause real hardship and pain for years. So how do we do that? Well, I have found that we can't do those things from a distance and we can't be half hearted about it. In fact, like our Lord (Luke 15:4-5) we must be relentless and unapologetic about being involved in the lives of our kids and grandkids! And therein lies the challenge; how can we be actively and positively involved in the lives of our children without being a source of bother and even frustration?

Here are 3 things we do to be a positive, encouraging, and fun force in the lives of kids. I would love to hear some of the things you do to be actively involved in your kid's lives.

1. We Choose Their Times: It's not about our convenience, it's about their availability. Dinner with kids/grandkids at 5pm on a week day is not going to happen. However, unless they are working or have some competition going on everyone (including boy/girl friends), are at our house for lunch at once or twice a month on Sundays after church.

Frank (My son-in-law) and I talk usually between 7:30-8 am or 5-6pm because those are his drive times. Micah works two jobs so its between jobs or on his day off. Isaac shoots hoops at 6am and practices until late., so I connect with him (Although I usually go to bed about 9) between 9-9:30pm. With Layla, our time is usually when I pick her up from school or taking her to dance. Jess is between consulting and zoom calls. Basketball, dance competitions, swinging at the park, and family pickleball, always takes priority over mowing grass or nap time.

2. We Connect Their Way. Phone calls from a home landline just doesn't happen for us or for most folks under 50. With Jess and Frank it's a few texts, mostly phone calls. Grandkids are mostly texts and instagram, with a few voicemails. I usually leave an encouraging or funny voicemail at least once a week with each grandchild, even James, our adopted grandson, who is in the Navy.

3. We Make It Personal. Although we are one family, we are made up of individuals and in order to be a positive influence in each of our kids lives we must do in a personal and unique way. And that requires planning long with flexibility. . Sunday family meals has something that each one of them really like. Everything from Shrimp appetizers, to deviled eggs, to chicken AND burgers.

Layla loves history and dance so that is what we talk about. For Isaac it's sports and his latest money making ideas. Micah loves to talk about cars and bodybuilding. He has called me 4 mornings in a row on his break to talk about his latest venture. With Frank, we both love sports and business. so we are always talking about his business or ministry opportunities or some competition the kids are in. With Jess it's all about the kids.

I think we all agree that family is at the center of truly enjoying this last best bite season. And even more important than that, this messed up world is relentlessly and unapologetically about going after our kids, so that is why we must relentless and unapologetic about being in their lives.

Check out the pursuit that takes place every morning whenever Malachi spends the night.